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Wednesday, February 24, 2010

AWESOMELY AVERAGE

If there is one word in the English language that is overused today, it is the word awesome.


The modern love affair with "awe" may have started with President George Bush's promise to deliver an attack on the Middle East that was going to inspire "shock and awe." I was working at an NBC TV affiliate at the time and I recall looking at the video from those attacks thinking, well, that's horrible, but certainly not awesome.


Webster's Dictionary defines awesome as something that is extraordinary, as in out of the realm of the commonplace.The Caribbean Sea is awesome, the hurricane that struck Haiti was awesome in a totally different way.


But anything is awesome to just about everyone these days.


You manage to get to work on time because there was no traffic? That's awesome.

Your kid doesn't flunk out of junior high? That's awesome.


You go to a restaurant and get a tepid meal for less than $10 bucks a plate? That's awesome.

Frankly I'm sick of hearing the word awesome. Some things are just average, albeit cute. Like my cat Merlin sitting in her chair.


Hear ye, hear ye, people: your kids are stupid, your spouse is fat, your dog bit the mailman, your job sucks, your car is overpriced, your computer crashed, your garage band will never play out, your cruise ship will get the Norovirus and you will never be an internet guru. If you feel the need to sugar coat daily life, which is average for most of us, by pretending it's something else, then have at it.


But don't call it awesome. Or I'll send the word police to get you.

Amen, and pass the mustard.

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