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Tuesday, June 21, 2011


I just got home to as yet another large pile of useless paper junk mail -- flyers, a couple of grocery coupons and three copies of some other piece of crap.
Tah dah, roll them drums -- I THREW IT ALL OUT.
To all the marketing geniuses who spend their entire day designing this drivel so that it will eventually end up before my eyes to get me to buy something, news flash: your life is being wasted.
It's 2011, and we have a host of ways to communicate with each other without the need for the tree-killing, landfill-filling frippery that arrives in the daily mail. When I'm ready to buy a particular item I'll go look for it, and waving paper advertising in front of my nose isn't going to make me spend my dollars any faster.
Not to mention, it gives me perverse pleasure to crumble it all up and throw it all away as soon as I am physically able to do so -- in winter, it goes into the fireplace, ha ha.
So take me off your mailing lists, don't send me political campaign literature, as a matter of fact, don't send me any of this rot anymore. 
Because you know, as well as I do, that it's useless, no matter how many surveys you come up with...
Amen, and pass the mustard.

Sunday, June 5, 2011


I've a hairline fracture on my left foot and have spent a few days house bound in hopes of resting the limb and hastening the healing. As a result, I've watched a lot more television programs than usual -- and was flabbergasted to note how many of these shows involve fantasy worlds and mythical characters. 

Vampires abound and live forever, Camelot thrives with a dark twist and a race of horse eating Dothrakis ride the grassy plains, in search of dragons while in the north soldiers stand guard over a wall of ice. Scenery is lush, the clothing worthy of a schizophrenic Paris runway and the music is one crescendo after another. 

It's no wonder these themes have captured the hearts of so many -- for we have become a nearly virtual society, whether it be work or play, tethered to some facet of technology which keeps many from participating in a real activity. 

Why leave the house to see theater when you can watch it on your phone? Why visit a friend in person when you can check in on Facebook? Why join a sports league when Wii is in your living room? 

So is it any surprise that the more technologically advanced we become, the more glued we get to computers and cubicles, are we subconsciously craving action, adventure and dare I say it -- a sense of romance in an era where it seems to be a lost art? 

Go into many homes and the evidence is all there -- gigantic television screens with "home entertainment systems" in sterile, utilitarian rooms devoid of any personality where pseudo-zombies sit and stare, eating microwaved meals in plastic dishes while texting on a cell phone. And yet onscreen dragons fly, swords clash, horses thunder over mountains and romance abounds -- things not likely to happen or fit within the confines of a cubicle. 

Amen, and pass the mustard.