OUTING BEDS IN A BAG

I've been doing some rearranging of my household lately and decided that it might be time to spruce up my bedroom linens.

So I trotted off to one of those home stores and promptly made my way over to the bedding department, where I spent quite a bit of time browsing. There I happened upon those obsequious items that never fail to fascinate me for some peculiar reasons -- the Bed In A Bag.

Literally, these mammoth plastic bags allegedly contain all you might require to properly dress your bed, including such niceties as sheets, pillowcases, maybe a comforter and perhaps even a bedskirt, all zipped up nice and tight.


Some Madison Avenue braniac came up with this notion, one of those types who tout themselves as capable of getting "results" or "solutions" or else inventing innovative "concepts."


So here's the rub: what happens to the Bed In A Bag when you take it out of the bag? I don't know about you but I think that the moment you unzip that bag and remove the contents, it ceases to be a Bed In A Bag and becomes a Bed Out Of The Bag, a totally different product.


It's all false advertising from the onset, and if I were you and had bought one of these things, I'd march myself down to where I bought the item and demand my money back.

Amen, and pass the mustard.

HAWKING PERSEIDS

Okay so we are supposed to be craning our necks upward tonight in hopes of catching a shooting star, part of that yearly ritual called the Perseids Meteor Showers.

It's a cool notion that as Earth is zooming around the solar system about this time each year it encounters billions and billions of particles of intergalactic space dust left behind when the gods and goddesses swept their floors eons ago.

Word has it tonight's show may be more spectacular than most.

Curiously, this news coincides with the newest spoutings from Stephen Hawking, the mega-mind Brit cosmologist who spends his time thinking about black holes while most of us simply live in them.

In a recent interview, Hawking said "If we can avoid disaster for the next two centuries, our species should be safe, as we spread into space."  Hawking believes that the only eventual solution to this mess is for the human race to beat feet and live amongst those aforementioned particles out in space.

Presumably, unlike the brilliant Hawking, we humans are morons and likely to blow ourselves up into billions and billions of particles of intergalactic dust (okay, Cabrera, stop spouting Carl Saganisms) or wreak ecological havoc rendering Earth unihabitable.

Incidentally, this past spring Hawking postulated that we earthlings best not mess with any beings from outer space because it's likely they won't be very nice.

So do we stay or do we go, Steve? I'm confused. Drop me a note and 'splain, please.