Corona Virus, Appendix & Anachronous Anaesthesia

There are two ways to think of an appendix:
1. a section of extra material at the end of a book
2. a tubular sac at the lower end of your intestine

Well, the second definition has no longer any meaning in my life. I am without an appendix, a preface or a glossary. Okay, I'll stop the book jokes.

It started in the middle of the night, like these things always do. I woke up feverish, my entire abdomen distended and myself feeling much like an overblown balloon. It didn't take long before my brain registered that something was definitely off - and after making a couple of calls to one of those online doctor services, it was time to act.

I got myself to the Emergency Room -- actually I DROVE myself to the ER because no ambulance was coming-- which in the middle of this blasted Covid 19 pandemic was a miracle in and of itself. I managed to screech "It's either my gall bladder or my appendix, people!" and somehow my bent over frame and twisted facial features gave credibility to my self-diagnosis.

One CAT scan later the ER docs proved that the useless appendage had ruptured (I keep saying it blew up because it sounds more dramatic) and I was in the OR where I went to that place you go when they give you anesthesia. I may have hollered at a couple of the guys in the OR not to drop me, but I am not totally sure.

Afterwards a couple of doctors mumbled at me in my semi-drugged state that my-former-appendix had indeed ruptured but not too spectacularly, which is why they handled things laparoscopically. Or so I understand. I asked to see the damn thing but they looked at me the same way the OR people did when I yelled at them not to drop me.

It's been a few weeks now, and I have a couple of pings here and there depending on how I get out of a chair or the bed. I'm about 98 percent okay, with setbacks on occasion when I just seem to run out of steam with very little warning. I consider myself damn lucky that during the Corona Virus pandemic I got in and out of a hospital with several ounces of myself missing and a few stitches.

After this whole thing I'm convinced that we should routinely yank out a person's appendix as soon as humanly possible. The damn thing is useless, does absolutely nothing except EXPLODE with no warning and then wreaks havoc. Wouldn't it be simpler if we just made a little cut and got rid of the appendix before it woke you up in the middle of the night? 

Amen, and pass the IV.