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Thursday, April 28, 2011


Everyone is talking about the Royal Wedding and by the time this gets read, the big event will have happened.
This takes me back to when I got married (not married anymore) on another Friday way long ago, in mid-summer.
The ceremony was happening at 7:00PM and everyone was hanging about my parents' house, bridesmaids dresses in the corner and all the groomsmen elsewhere waiting for the limo.
The phone rang.
Now bear in mind this was an age prior to the internet or cell phones or anything else of that sort.
My mother picked up the phone and shot a peculiar look into my eyes. "It's for you," she said, and handed over the receiver.
I was in a robe with my cousins playing with my hair and the makeup wasn't on just yet.
Who was it, I asked? My mother answered, "It is Ralph."
Ralph was one of those guys who used to call me all the time trying to figure out what I was doing that weekend in hopes he might catch up to me. On that night, the voice on the other end of the phone was typical.
"Hey! You busy?" he said.
"Yes, Ralph, very."
"Ralph, I can't talk much now. I've got plans."
"Really? What?"
"Ralph, I'm getting married."
Dead silence at the other end of the phone.
"Married?" he snorted. "When?"
"Ralph, in about two hours."
More dead silence. A breath, and then realization.
"So I guess you are busy tonight."
"Yep. Sorry, Ralph."
Dead silence at the other end of the phone, again.
"I guess I should let you go," he said.
"Yep. Sorry, Ralph."
He hung up. My mother gave me a funny look and all of the people in my house started to guffaw.
Poor Ralph.
I suppose somewhere out there someone who once dated Kate is having a similar reaction.
Amen, and pass the mustard.

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