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Monday, February 29, 2016

Bernie Sanders Wants to Take Care of Us -- NOT

I was at the supermarket late this afternoon and got stuck standing behind a woman talking on her cell while her kid, about ten or twelve years old, was running amok. I'll call him Jamie.

Jamie's mother -- late twenties, with chipped nail polish and a PINK sweatshirt -- was blathering about how she was very excited to be participating in the political process this year. Turns out, Jamie's mother had not voted in quite some time but this time was going to vote for Bernie Sanders. Full disclosure here: very recently I wrote my personal belief that Bernie Sanders is A Lunatic right on this blog.

Jamie's mom blathered to her friend that she was voting so that Bernie Sanders could get Jamie (by now tearing into another bag of Reese's cups) a free college education. Jamie's mother had it all sewn up, apparently, speaking about Bernie using very familiar tones.

"Bernie wants to take care of us," she said, beaming. "He's going to make the government pay my kid's college bills. We will be getting free health care too." She patted her stomach, which was a tad on the wide side. "Maybe after he gets elected I'll be able to get that lap band surgery and lose weight."


Lap band surgery? Where did that come from? Oh, wait, maybe we can blame social media.

The amount of political foolishness which is bandied about on social media is incredible. Bombardment is a good word to describe it: ridiculous cartoon memes, insulting commentary and pseudo-information from assorted websites written by buffoons but passed off as truth.

Jamie's mother and thousands of her ilk are swallowing this whole, blissfully oblivious to the notion that someone is going to have to pay for all of these faux promises. Who will pay? They don't know and don't care, as long as they don't have to pony up.

Meanwhile Jamie had run to the other side of the store and his mother had to hang up the phone. She left her cart in the line and scampered over to find her kid and bring him to heel. I've no idea what happened because Jamie, high on Reeses, proved harder to track down than his mother had anticipated.

But then again, Jamie's mother isn't anticipating much of anything, as are all of the others who fervently believe that the Presidency of the United States should be held by a man who goes by a nickname. Not Bernard, mind you, Bernie. Yep, Bernie the guy who wants to take care of us.

Amen, and pass the Reeses, please.

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