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Friday, March 4, 2016

Whole Foods Sells Oranges Without Appeal


Whole Foods. The supermarket chain is a tony enclave in which the well-heeled are able to shop for edibles of the highest quality. In theory, the produce is supposed to be top of the line, organic, and Whole Foods is allegedly America's healthiest grocery store.

But the chain harvested some seriously bad PR this week because some marketing fruitcake got whacked on the head with an organic coconut. In a maneuver so stupid it's pathetic, the stores stocked its shelves with pre-peeled oranges in plastic containers.

One must presume that the idea was for convenience and saving the few precious seconds it would take a chimpanzee to peel the fruit. I can't imagine that Whole Foods' customers have become that lazy. Needless to say, social media went bananas about the unappealing oranges and blasted away their sour grapes.

Mother Nature has done a terrific job of packaging these edibles. The peels can be made into marmalade, dried into potpourri or added to a compost heap. But no. In order to sell this now incomplete food Whole Foods had to buy plastic packaging.

We all know what happens to those. But who the hell knows what happened to all those peels? Further, a boatload of humans spent time and energy peeling the damn things at who knows how many bucks an hour. That alone undoubtedly drove up the produce price.

According to Twitter users Whole Foods pulled the naked fruit from its shelves. Were these perfectly good items thrown on top of a trash heap to boot? Or did Incomplete Foods at least donate the oranges to some shelter?

Amen, and pass the juicer, please.

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