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Saturday, November 5, 2011


I was at the supermarket two nights ago -- shopping for just your average stuff, when the kid who was at the cash register gave me a very serious look just after I finished my transaction.
Not only a serious look, but a rather cryptic message, "You are $104 short of a turkey."
The kid at the market was the simple sort that frequents supermarkets in my home town these days, young men and women who graduate from the local high school and are clearly not headed down a career path that will make much of a mark on the world horizon.
This kid would be lucky if he got back to his car in the parking lot after his shift. 
So I raised my eyebrow after his cryptic statement and he just repeated it.
"You are $104 short of a turkey. You are $104 short of a turkey. That means if you spend another $104 in the next couple of days, you are eligible for a turkey."
I had a flashback to the Blues Brothers movie line, "It's 106 miles to Chicago, we've got a full tank of gas, half a pack of cigarettes, it's dark, and we are wearing sun glasses."
(No, I didn't hit the kid, but the thought briefly did flit through my head.)
I understand that during the usual Thanksgiving pre-hype that many food vendors will do whatever it takes to bring in as much $$$ as possible to their stores.
But not everyone wants, or has the room for, a frozen dead bird.
Turkeys in November are the equivalent of fresh zucchini in late July -- something you find everywhere. 
I know of someone who had a zucchini emergency and ended up putting bags of the things into friends' cars without their knowledge, but that's another story.
I just hope I don't find myself with a frozen dead bird in my cart next time I go to the market.
Amen, and I will pass on that turkey.

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