BUMPER CARS, BIG PIG STYLE

In hindsight, perhaps it wasn't such a hot idea to attach the chain around the car's bumper. 

Once again, the story takes place on the island some call simply, "The Big Pig," another tale of transportation trials and tribulations, involving a very old Ford Fiesta with clutch problems, heretofore called FSquared. 

Incidentally, FSquared is way past its prime, lacking headlights and other amenities, used now only in a place where a scant number of vehicles exist and the preferred mode of transport is gonzo golf carting. 

The Old Truck & FSquared

N. and B. had been knocking heads trying to figure out how to "pop" the aforementioned clutch in a location that is fairly flat, and they hatched a scheme in which FSquared would be somehow moved along by a very, very vintage Ford truck, heretofore known as The Old Truck. They linked The Old Truck to FSquared using a very hefty steel chain they were itching to put to some kind of use, looping the chain around FSquared's rear bumper. The effect was the automotive version of Dr. Doolittle's Push Me Pull You two headed llama. 

I'm not entirely sure of the particulars of the whole scheme, but I think it involved trying to pull FSquared just enough to build up momentum for the clutch popping/whatever maneuver. 

N. got in The Old Truck and B. got into FSquared, and the fun began.

It didn't help matters much that The Old Truck's engine makes more noise than the entire drum section of ten full orchestras with a Sousaphone or two thrown in for good measure. 

They pushed, they pulled, they pushed, they pulled, kicking up a fair amount of dirt, drawing cheers and jeers from the rest of us and adding to the overall din with the grinding sound of metal on metal as the attempts continued.

Finally, the result they had not counted on -- The Old Truck ripped the bumper right off FSquared and clattered down the path until all activities ceased. N. and B. jumped out of their respective vehicles and begin to inspect FSquared, with much scratching of heads and getting down on the ground as they assessed the carnage.


At least, FSquared was now running., so N. and B. cashed in their chips, drove FSquared back  to a good spot and tranquility reigned once again at the Big Pig.

Amen, and pass the mustard.